In this day and age, man has welcomed and embraced his feminine side by being a more caring nurturing partner, looking after the children, being a stay at home dad, slipping quite nicely into the feminine role.

This is all great, and works perfectly providing he also has an outlet to express and develop his masculinity. And here is where the problem lies.

Qualities of a REAL MAN?

As a man I am keen to experience and understand my masculinity and the interplay of my femininity in accordance with the laws of nature. When the 2 polarities sit in harmony with each other the union is perfect but to express and discover the truth of this can be a daunting task in this day and age where the lines between male and female polarities have diminished to the point where they no longer exist.

Am I just playing a role?

In this day and age, man has welcomed and embraced his feminine side by being a more caring nurturing partner, looking after the children, being a stay at home dad, slipping quite nicely into the feminine role. This has done wonders for the family unit as more men take an active role in the family and upbringing of the children. This is all great, and works perfectly providing he also has an outlet to express and develop his masculinity. And here is where the problem lies. The man relegates his meaning when he stops being what he is supposed to be according to the laws of nature. It’s important to note here that we are talking about masculinity here and not “male-ness”.

The masculine/feminine polarities compliment each other perfectly. This union once realised can then be represented in all interaction between man and woman, man and man and woman and woman. It’s when someone wants someone to be something that they are not that the problems may occur.

Man, who am I really?

But for man to understand part of “who he is” he may need to re-connect or at least investigate his inner nature. This may mean stepping out of your comfort zone and facing certain fears. It takes courage to face up to your short comings with honesty and take action to improve them, change habitual patterns and live an honorable, disciplined life. For this courageous man, the man that wants to feel a more complete, happy life in connection with his essence will be a better person to himself, his partner, family, and anyone else that he is in connection with. For the man that denies this part of himself, will always feel a sense of disconnection and isolation, something is not quite right.

So how does a man work on the connection with his masculinity?

It’s not a case of just growing a stubble and hanging with the boys watching football and eating pizza. It starts with questioning what is missing in your life and what it is that you fear the most and stepping into it with courage. It is also have a clear understanding of what it is that you stand for and investigating what it means to be a man.

Here are a couple of points to get you started.

Real Men:

  1. Are honest.
  2. Stand up for what they believe in.
  3. Do not leave their post.
  4. Keep their word, their word is law.
  5. Are forgiving and gentle by nature.
  6. Are strong when need be but not brittle.
  7. Understand their nature and are on an inner journey.
  8. Live with integrity.
  9. Are never violent. They always choose peace.
  10. Are committed and loyal friends and partners.
  11. Are not obsessed.
  12. Are flexible and not set in their ways.
  13. Laugh and cry with ease.
  14. Love the company of men and women equally.
  15. Learn quickly from their mistakes.
  16. Do not hold grudges or anger.
  17. Have an open heart.
  18. Love with all heart
  19. Are gentle with children.
  20. Hurt nothing, hurt no one.

-Andy-

10 Comments

  1. Walter on October 2, 2009 at 3:08 am

    I must admit that most men are EGO infested. They would rather stick to their machismo delusion than to explore the true essence of manliness like what you have stated above. 🙂

  2. andy on October 2, 2009 at 4:50 am

    Hi Walter, thanks for the comment. Over coming the ego is the biggest challenge to really going inward. Men seem to relish hiding behind their false sense of identity.

    Andy

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  4. Selma on October 3, 2009 at 11:53 pm

    Men and women are vastly different physiologically but I its interesting that you can apply all the qualities listed to women as well.

    Looking forward to reading part 2.

    Selma

  5. andy on October 4, 2009 at 12:27 am

    Thanks Selma, great to have your contribution and it’s great to have it from a womans perspective.

    Andy

  6. andrew on October 4, 2009 at 8:16 am

    following a strong disciplined set of rules, like the list above allows one the freedom to live without fear of our own actions.
    knowing your limits and staying with in them.
    lighting the desire to fight and ability to controll it.
    you have to be honest fear is an amazing motivator enough to even remove any traces of testostirone from the modern man.

  7. andy on October 4, 2009 at 8:23 am

    Hi Andrew,

    Great comment. When you can live your truth…just gush it out, as you say it is real freedom. Understanding your limitations is wisdom.

    Thanks

    Andy

  8. Ben O on October 6, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    Hi Andy

    Insightful article as always. Looking forward to part 2.

    It is interesting that what is the concept of a man evolves with time and across cultures. For instance the concept of a Renaissance Man incorporated warrior skills as well as art and literature. In another era the focus shifted to exploration, science and art as the pursuits of the Enlightenment in Britain. Even further back you have the perspectives of the certain Romans and Greeks around warfare as well as human virtues – Marcus Aurelius, Zeno, Plato, Socrates.

    And then you have the Christian traditions of warrior monks and knights.

    I think a common theme of a true man can be seen across all times and cultures in which modern man has existed.

    To me this common theme is the personal responsibility to continually evolve and improve all elements of your human nature and journey. To make yourself a more ’rounded person’.

  9. andy on October 7, 2009 at 5:08 am

    Hi Ben,

    Great contribution. Thanks for taking the time to write.

    Andy

  10. Rick on December 5, 2009 at 4:44 pm

    @Selma Your point is really good. Someone may read the traits of real men, and think they need to be in polar opposition with what it means to be a real woman.

    I see the two as mutually exclusive, and a real woman should have many of the same qualities.

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